Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize