worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
