I just cut my nipple shaving
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
