vagina is talking i cant
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
