she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
