Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
