I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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