the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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