dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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