You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
