Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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