So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
