I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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