so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
