He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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