i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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