Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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