does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
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His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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