What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
