all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize