bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
