where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just forgot I was standing up.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
