What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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