it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
