If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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