I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
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