i already hear my dad disowning me
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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