Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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