You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
