oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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