Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
