She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
