I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
