you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
