i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
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They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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