if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
