i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
