Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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