You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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