Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Less talking, more tequila
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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