I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
