The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize