Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
