so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
