This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
