The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Randomize
