Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
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