she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I want a musical about memes.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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