You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
