I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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