Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
