If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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