all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
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First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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