Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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